As I watch my son take his nap, while I work on my computer, I think of how much pressure I used to put on myself. As a new mom, as a wife, and as a women. I had to be perfect, to do perfect. For everything in my life. We're all living our daily lives with this unrealistic expectation of added pressure that we add on our selves. For NO reason. We put all of this pressure on ourselves because we THINK that's what will make others happy. We're all just trying to people please...but shouldn't you come first?
One day I had this sort of ah-ha moment of 'Why am I doing this to myself? I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel anxious all of the time.' thought. I needed to put myself first. My husband would tell me all the time that I didn't need to get my list of things done every day, but I would put all this added pressure on myself because I was trying to live up to this unrealistic expectation that I was putting on myself. FOR NO REASON. I would tell myself that if I didn't get x,y, and z done then I was a terrible wife, mother, and woman. I was shaming my own self. In reality, none of these things needed to be done right away. I slowly learned this. It took me months, going to counseling and sharing my feelings of the pressures of being a wife, mom, and women are and how that made me feel. I slowly learned how to do the dishes at my own pace, while tending to our son. I slowly learned that the laundry can sit in the dryer for a couple of days before I fold it. I slowly learned to forgive MYSELF & let myself BE FREE. Free of this pressure to be perfect.
We all put this pressure on ourselves to BE the BEST! I still put this pressure on myself some days, but I'm more aware that I'm doing it and I change my way of thinking to get the pressure to go away. That thought isn't allowed to stay here. Self forgiveness is essential for self healing. You must first accept yourself. Be patient with yourself. You aren't going to change over night. It took me years, to get to be able to talk to myself with kinder words and to be kinder to myself. So forgive yourself momma! You're doing the best that YOU can do & that is quite enough.